My dear waffle bloggers…we all have bad days don’t we? Some of those days turn into days, weeks, months or even years in some poor bugger’s case!
I’ve had a few recently MDWB’s but I always think “If you think your day is going badly just remember that somewhere in the world a man with a lisp is trying to order the Sweet & Sour Soup”.
That always makes me chuckle, I mean can you imagine Jonathan Ross trying to order sweet & sour soup in a Chinese restaurant somewhere in Soho. If you are having a bad day MDWB’s picture that and have a chuckle to lighten your day for a few minutes.
Now I tell you what did make me chuckle recently MDWB’s…
Let’s cross over the continent in to Europe, Spain to be precise. Here we have sun, sand, sex and sangria. A place you might think now there’s a lovely place for a hen night.I’ll set the scene for you…
Ridiculous amounts of alcohol flowing, the bridesmaids have organised you a stripper. *rubs hands with delight* You are blindfolded hoping that he’s not a complete minger! Music starts and the panic of please don’t be Danny DeVito as the 50yr old stripper in that episode of FRIENDS where he cries A LOT! But what do you get instead… A DWARF!
Now I know that dwarfism itself is not funny. But is funny that your so called ‘friends’ have hired you one! Personally MDWB’s I’d be wetting myself laughing to see the reaction of ‘your friend…the bride’s’ face! Let’s just hope it makes her happy, not grumpy *laughs out loud*.
Right back to Spain… well the story get more interesting MDWB’s in this case he did indeed make her very happy but her new husband very grumpy. As the drunkenness of the occasion(hen night) lead to her getting carried away a little…well I think I’d be wondering ‘is it in yet’, clearly far too much sangria blurred her vision, made her a bit dopey and not at all bashful. As the bride to be fell pregnant…by her new husband you may think….but No! The dwarf stripper!!
She did not admit to her closest friends that she’d drunkenly shagged a dwarf…well let’s be honest why would you! Last weekend of freedom, pissed as a fart and drunkenly fucked a dwarf. A secret you think *well actually maybe you should let that one lie and get buried in the back of the closet*. One little problem, the husband thought all the way through the preganancy *as you would* it’s mine. She’d tried to forget the ‘I shagged a dwarf when I was pissed moment’.
*Awkward moment coming here*…
“But the protagonist of this episode had no choice but to confess and could never have pretended the boy was her husband’s because of a little problem – the child was born with dwarfism.”
It is not unusual for dwarfs to be hired as entertainers at hen and stag parties and several websites offer the services of “miniboys” as they are known in Spain.
She got a mini boy alright… and probably a divorce.
So when you are next having a bad day MDWB’s just pause for a moment and think either of Jonathan Ross ordering sweet & sour soup in Soho or why you should shag a dwarf stripper on your hen night.