Tag Archives: balls

Prosthetics, balls and Boom!

Well my dear waffle bloggers,

I do apologise for the distinct lack of blogging lately but I’m sure you didn’t want another woman just moaning about the football! The World Cup my dear waffle bloggers, we wait four years for the media build the intense suspense and then….

We bloody well come home, knocked out after two games! But of course had to play that one last game…just to really rub salt in the wound! And that’s that done & dusted for another four years. Personally I think England football team should swap wages with the British Armed Forces! Don’t you agree MDWB’s?

Anyway enough of this ball talk, I want to tell you about my little world of late. Well I got my electronic arm back *jumps up & down for joy*. Yes fellas beware my left hand grip is now rather strong!! *Naughty, Oh do behave MDWB’S*

I saw a very interesting prosthetic arm on my visit to Dorset Orthopaedic, an i Limb! No don’t panic as I did thinking Apple are actually taking over the world! But it is rather clever, controlled by an app you can get on the app store or android! Your hand can cleverly move like a real hand. Now those of you that know me will know that I find this clever but incredibly freaky! I mean, imagine the scene…

PUB…with friends

  • *7pm* – everyone curious about the mechanics & wondering the technical spec
  • 8pm* – Oooo can you do your shoe up with it??
  • *9pm* – Can you go and pinch that cute barman’s arse with it?
  • *10pm* – Fuuuuccckkkk!! How the hell is my hand doing that!! It’s not real it can’t be!!
  •  *11pm* – Can it crawl across the floor like thing from the Adams Family??
  •  *11:05pm* – thrown out of pub for inappropriate prosthetic play!

Yes MDWB’s, you can see it now can’t you, I’m sure as hell I can! In the words of the brilliant Miranda Hart ‘Such fun!’

Righty ho off of the i Limb and back to work…

I have a varied job, I can’t deny. Recently I attended a Gruffalo hunt in a forest searching for a Gruffalo. A Gruffalo, you say…but there’s no such thing! Well I’m sorry to disappoint MDWB’s but the Gruffalo is real and goes under the alias of Ben! Excellent day out in the forest, birthday cake, thunder, lighting *very very frightening*, *your welcome* (as Queen now steps into your head)

Then today my dear waffle bloggers, a good couple of hundred people all sat in rather a large tent and listened to speeches come and go. But then MDWB’s we were given Boom whackers! Now a Boom whacker for those of you who don’t know is a hollow coloured tube that is in tune to a note, generally in the C scale. Varying length my dear waffle bloggers and no you can’t blow it *don’t be rude*. Average girth and not much to look at…isn’t that always the way girls! Anyway….

We had to play a tune! Absolutely no idea what it was but we banged away for a good 20 minutes or more! Banging for 20 minutes I hear you say! Yes 20 minutes of banging is enough to leave anyone exhausted on a Monday afternoon! I know I was exhausted that night I was banging away…yes, MDWB’s I had left my Terry’s Chocolate Orange in the fridge! Never, ever again will I do that!

Well, we didn’t have much of a tune but according to the font of all knowledge aka YouTube you can play the William Tell Overture! As these Gentlemen here clearly demonstrate…


Well we all have to aspire to something my dear waffle bloggers… Maybe next year!