I’ve been missing from my website for two years…but I make no apologies for this. There have been a lot of changes and tragedy in the world in general. In 2016 we lost countless celebrities and in 2017 with all the scandals that have been happening in Hollywood I bet there’s a few that wish they were lost. The U.K. government is negotiating Brexit, the United States has its first orange president and Christmas seems to have started in August.
My world fell apart in 2016…within six weeksI lost those I held most dear to me my mum & dad. I may remember the start of 2016 but I lost most of it in a fog of anxiety & grief. I didn’t have anything to laugh at, I had nothing to get up for let alone laugh. Suddenly I was on my own having to organise two funerals for those that gave me life. I had to learn very quickly what to do and how to organise wills, estates, numerous bank accounts, the house…everything. I still don’t know how I did it as its buried in fog.
Oh how life has changed… I’ve learnt who my real friends are and the ones I can count on or call at 3am. Those who have literally seen me at my lowest, sat on the floor with me when I physically couldn’t get up or stop crying. I’ve learnt it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known people or how long it is since you’ve seen them, it’s whose there when you need them the most, those who walk in when others walk out. I’ve learnt it’s okay not to be okay.
I’ve taken up mindfulness and learnt it’s okay to cry when you need too. I’ve changed, life has changed and I no longer see things as I once did. Grief will do that to you, it will consume you in waves. I’ve changed my lifestyle, diet and way I take on every day. It’s just over a year since my world was turned upside down and it’s tough again at the moment, physically making changes to the house that was your childhood home. That makes me feel like I’ve boxed up two lifetimes and all I have left is photographs and memories. Do not ever take that for granted, because it can change in a day.
As hard as it is and with help from some absolutely amazing friends I am starting to learn to laugh again. I will slowly but surely get back into the comedy scene, except this time with a lot more grey hairs to cover I will be the mindful armless comic. Bare with friends…bare with. See you in 2018…