Tag Archives: Exercise

Exercise: the road to a slightly less wonky body

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Exercise: the road to  a slightly less wonky body

My dear waffle bloggers,

They say exercise gives you energy…but I’m still trying to figure out how to get the energy to exercise in the first place!

When I was eighteen, I assumed that I’d be playing tennis well into my twenties and thirties, playing for England and then moving on to become a coach! But I know on,y a certain type of woman can pull off being a tennis coach, as it were; most likely a wiry blonde posh lady in ridiculously short shorts called Patricia, who runs a marathon at a weekend, has five children, seven terriers, a dinghy and a husband called Victor.

I am not not that woman MDWB’s. I should mention in my mind Patricia is one of those people who is regularly sponsored for fun runs. I would just like to add that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FUN RUN!! Even if you are dressed as a giant banana you still have to run! ‘Fun’ and ‘Run’ are two words in my world would be illegal to put together.

Children, well as children the need to take exercise wasn’t a concept. You are always running, skipping, hopping or bouncing. And  RUNNING was fun. You loved running, it was the best way to get from A to B. I found often told off for running, particularly in a corridor or in a field… Naughty!

Now there is that stupid craze of scooting! If I may briefly sound like my mother, I do worry about their hips & backs. There is method in my madness MDWB’s, if you spend hours propelling yourself forward on a scooter, you’re going to favour one leg over another as your pushing leg. What are you going to do if one leg will end up considerably shorter than the other? Therefore I predict MDWB’s  that by the year 2045 we will have a generation of lop-sided adults, who will buy half their trousers at Big & long and the other at Weak & stumpy.  Morale of the story, scoot less run more.

My point is as children we were always playing & exercising, in ways that would be unthinkable as adults. So why not have a bit of playtime at lunchtime? Most people’s answers “not unless you have an orthopaedic surgeon on stand by”!  Can you imagine it  waffle bloggers, a group of smartly dressed professionals playing leap frog in the corridor!

As you get older MDWB’s things go wonky. A few years at a desk, after climbing a flight of stairs, you realise you’d rather miss a bus than run for it! Your trainers are in the box with dried mud on them from 2006 ( the last time you wore them).  By thirty three, you may find you have officially ‘let yourself go’. Comfort & elastic is the new denim and you get a head rush if you get up out of the chair too quickly! You see an old school friend crossing the road and up goes a Facebook status saying ‘saw Lisa outside subway yesterday, seriously let herself go’.

This is not going to continue MDWB’s, I need to attempt to remain vaguely person shaped. I am undecided on the exact sports wear but I have the trainers, not the Lycra you’ll be pleased to hear. Plus obviously the industrial sports bra, underneath somewhere that Patricia is lurking.  Load ‘eye of the tiger’ on your iPod and off you go.

Run

As frustrated as a T-Rex doing a press up

My dear waffle bloggers, it’s the journey to a less wonky body… Slowly but surely I hope I might get there…

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